Wednesday, February 25, 2009
My Heart Hurts.
Sometimes I feel like I am totally emotionally constipated. I feel like the last year I have focused on being strong, not losing it, and generally keeping it together. I found myself telling Christian today to "stop crying, it doesn't help." Has that become my new mantra? I used to cry at everything, which is so ironic because I have shed so few tears over the death of my own Dad. I am pretty sure that my brain is protecting me so that I don't have a complete breakdown- it just hasn't hit me yet. All I know is that if this were any other situation, I would want to be with my Dad. He was such a good comforter. I have spent many hours snuggled with him on the couch just holding his hand. I miss our simple relationship and how we could just sit in a room quietly together and not have to talk. I miss his unwavering example of the person I should try to be. I just feel so lost. WHat do you do when the one person you need to comfort you is the one who you are mourning over. Maybe he is here now and I just don't know it. I hope so. I miss you Daddy.
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4 comments:
Hey Britt. Just wanted you to know that I love you, and I'm here for you always. I have no idea what you are feeling, it's something that I have no experience with whatsoever. But I do know that you are so lucky to have the relationship you had with your Dad. He is an amazing guy, and you are amazing. I'm no where near the comfort that he could be, but please call me WHENEVER you need. You can cry on my shoulder anyday! (Or we can just sit quietly until you're ready to let it all out). I love you so much.
Brittany, I really wish there was something I could say to make everything better, although I know there's not. The only thing that is comforting is knowing that your Dad is with Heavenly Father and is now in perfect health. Although the pain never goes away it does lessen over time. If you need anything at all I'm here for you (although you might not want to be around me I have the yucky cold that's going around.) You are very lucky to have Kelly as a friend she is so sweet to have gone to New Mexico. She seems to always be there, friends like this don't come around to often. I love you so much and have been thinking of you. Love ya, Karen
Brittany, I am glad you are able to share your feelings. I love you, and think of you daily! Call me anytime.
I'm so sorry Brittany.
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